June 2010
2 posts
Hatred
..i hate everything that reminds me of you!..
i hate hearing your voice!..
i hate you more when you beg for another chance..
i hate you most when you say how much you loved me..
I tried to forget everything but it’s not that easy!..
I tried to be the same person you knew..but I just can’t stand it..
I hate J..
I hate M!!..
I hate you!..
I hate You!!..
...
Karma
..at this very moment, I wanna be blown away by the wind and just fade forever..wish I was deaf not to hear everything.coz undeniably,the truth really hurts..:(..Though I’m expecting it, still it’s painful..i don’t know what to do.,i felt like cryig but no tears would fall..i can’t hardly breathe..something stucked inside of my windpipe..i’m just soOo broken..I...
April 2010
2 posts
Blindness
Slowly,everything became so visible now..The things you were trying to hide away from me find ways to show its real beauty..How does it feel deceiving me??—again..Questions sink into my thoughts..should I confront you or not??..Should I continue beleving the lies or what?..I’m confused..I want answers but i’m not ready for the pain it would caused me..I want the whole truth but...
faceless
engaged in a fantasy where there’s no way out..haven as what I call..down here I could be me..the rebel me..down here I could do anything I want..no do’s and don’ts..no doubts..no expectations..everything was all about me..all about what’s inside of me..i was intrigued by the faceless angel that I met..I followed him..everywhere he goes i’m there..what a sanctuary..as...
March 2010
7 posts
What a feeling..
..you’re driving me closer to you..healing this broken mess inside..everyday is a new day..every second is a moment to cherish..Lighting every darkest part of my life..what kind of candle are you??..you shine so bright amongst them.. illuminating the path i’m walking on..igniting two shattered hearts..who were trying hard to accept the differences..pointing out each flawses to make it right..one...
Breaking Dawn
..he’s already sleeping..and the phone wasn’t hung-up.. I’ve been addicted to the sound of his breathing..Imagining what he would looked like when he’s unconsciously lying in his bed..I wanna hear the beat of his heart and the inhale and exhale thing..In a simple unexplainable way that tormented me not to look away..The thirst for another piece of him grew longer..It just...
blooodlets
..the world is spinning around..My mind couldn’t process what i’m reading..ei!!..i’m tryin hard to study my lessons..and damn!!..i’m in soo much pain!..why do I have to feel this shitty thing??..It’s disturbing my peaceful world!..arg!!..I could feel the contractions within..gosh!!..i’m bleeding again!!..I hate this molecular compounds called prostaglandins and...
Noise
..who would ever imagined that this creature could sing?.not the kind of sound you always hear on radios..I got 11 records here in my phone..and 4 of it were from him..singing..the 1st one was pangako sau..2nd was wag mo na sana..3rd was stay..and the 4th one was crazy for u..I used to listen to this “records” whenever i’m bored..coz this things would always made me smile..if an...
Hades
..he’s calling me what???..that damn word “w****”..I also saw that word on the profile that caused me this soo much misery..is this hints??or what??..gosh!!..i’m finding it hard to breathe..something stacked inside my windpipe..of all words why that one?..I am trying to forget that shitty memory but there you are reminding me again..I hate you for doin that..You’re...
Drift away..
..Last night I was so “not-myself”.I said we should moved-on..we should forget that thing..but I was just so stupid.making my own pains.worsening it.I ended up looking at it again.and there I was teary-eyed and grieving.I just can’t believed why I saw this.I blame myself for my curiosity. I shouldn’t have dig more info’s. I shouldn’t have done it.I hate to know...
..soo much
..My curiousity led me to this..
..shattered me into pieces..
..I just dont know what to do..
..It’s too much..
..Questions sink all over my head..
..I want an answer..
..I need an answer..
..I feel like dying..
..while digging the truth..
..A drop then started to roll..
..An uncontrollable thing..
..Why of all it’s me??..
..Why am I feeling this??..
..If this is what they...
February 2010
9 posts
Longing
.i’m prisoned with my emotions..stumbled..and searching for the right answers..should i??or shouldn’t i??———…….i just don’t know how to control this feeling..breathing soOo hard..gosh!!..why am i feeling this??..alam mo ung feeling na gusto mong hawakan pero hndi pwde??..ung sau nga pero ang lau..ung araw araw nag-go-grow ung feelings mo para sa...
Addiction
Holding it..
A notion sink in..
My fortress became undefended..
It’s so weak..
This is what I called “addiction”..
How come I never noticed it?
I shouldn’t have touched this.
As this thing touches my lips,
An undefinable feeling begin to raise..
It’s tempting me..
My mind says,
“I want more”..
How can I stop this??
Argh!!..I wanna stop this...
Zee-er
..two strangers from a totally different world..meet at the middle of nowhere..imagine that..I could still remember the 2nd conversation we had..he was lost and i was bored..ahhaha..He asked for advices from me..the “coping up ang moving on thing”..I gave him tips based on my own experiences..:)..walang tulogan sa mga panahong ito..hahahha…destined??magsure ka nga..:)..that...
Loser!!
To the person whom I hated so much!!..
..What the hell is wrong with you??..just respect my decision ok..wla ka din namang magagawa eh..You’re sorry wont make things back..eh kung di ka ba naman ganun katanga..mararamdaman mo kung ayaw na sau ng tao dba?..’wag mo ng ipagsiksikan sarili mo sa’kin..’wag mo na ipagpilitan kung ayaw..what a stoOpid git..dahil ba sa hndi mo na...
Zee
Ano ba to!!
tawag ako ng tawag..
ring lang ng ring..
wala namang sumasagot.
ah!..ewan..
Nagpapamiscol..
di naman nagigising..
hay naku!!..
ang gulo!!
Busy
“The subscriber you are calling is busy at the moment. pls. try your call later.”
Sa anong paraan mo ba mako-contact ang isang taong ‘di mo naman matawagan??.. He’s busy because of what??.. SOmeone’s calling him??.. He’s calling someone??.. and who the heck is that person ba??.. It’s been ages and I still couldn’t contact his number.. what the hell...
???
..Dapat ba may rason,
sa lahat ng desisyon??..
ano bah dapat gawin?
gusto ko sunding si manong “damdamin”..
sigaw niya’y,”ayoko na”..
kya ayon sinunod ko..
lahat na lng pinapakialaman nila..
Bawal ba maging masaya??
Eh sa talagang ayoko na..
Bawal na rin bang sumuko??ha??
..thoughts
..wow!!..i think there’s something wrong with my ribs..it causes pain everytime i breathe..I’m all screwed up..I’m trapped in this mess, soOoo alone, and i dunno how to get out..which way??..:(..darkness started to capture every inch of light in this so-called-life..I can’t think straight..he’s all over my thoughts..i dunno y??and i dunno how did it happened..I just...
I'm Done!
“it’s too late to apologize..yeah it’s too late..” -Silverstein
..been listening to this music a MILLION times..i guess yeah..it’s really too late to apologize..ngaun pa??..eh ayoko na..bat ganun??..alam mong di tama eh ginawa mo..then now, u’r begging for forgiveness..wow!..it’s a big NO-NO!..i wont forget everything you did..I wont forgive...
January 2010
31 posts
How well do you know yourself?
1.Do you know the subject/topic that you most enjoy reading/writing about?
ans.no..got so many topics
2.Do you know what things can tempt you?
ans.yes..rh..foodz..ejjej
3.Do you know your emotional strengths and weaknesses?
ans.no..amm..yeah—no..
4.Have you ever analyzed your personality with a neutral outlook?
ans.yes?
5.Do you know, what fears you most?
ans.YES..
6.Are you aware...
Fieldtrip
….been dying to be in CEBU..gosh gosh..so excited..i can’t almost sleep..arg!!..
4 days to go na lng at nasa CEbu na kami..weewwwwww..thanks for that fieldtrip “thing”..:).. eto..nagreresearch sa hotel na tutulogan and sa places na pupuntahan.. Monday is the day!!!!!!!!!!….
drunk
A sip of rh for a change. Feeling the intensity as it overruled my consciousness. 1bot of stallion..2..3..4..then things became so blurred..my cheeks were burning sooo hot..my mind was trying to catch all the things they said.. It’s not functioning right. .I burped. .I could feel the food as my stomach rejects it.. Nd then I puked. My world was spinning lightly.. I could not do this alone.. Could...
what's the best remedy?..
when I own something..I want it to be FULLY mine..I’m selfish,o yeah!!..and I had him tied up..I want his attention—all the time—..knowing his actions is a MUST..I set the rules..he follows it..the u can do,u can’t do this thing..
..—-there must be really something wrong with me..——????
..comatose
..Wanting my system down…my eyes are then tightly closed…it’s been so quiet…it’s already late and I needed to sleep! Unrecognizable sounds then started to exist…It’s deafening my senses…I can’t concentrate…I could hear my heart beat…I’m sleeping yet why am I hearing this things??..It’s like my soul has been detached from my body…what’s happening??…my...
How to let go of someone you really love..
1.Do not resist the pain.When you are heartbroken, the first thing you want to do is run away from the pain and suppress it with self-destructive habits such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, etc. to numb yourself. But these do not really help. The only thing it does is keep the feelings buried inside of you which will hurt you more in the long run. Address the situation by welcoming the hurt...
My Life
Life… is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you’re stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there’s nothing else to eat while you’re watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an...
HIM
Before my boring state intertwined with my sanity..i found 3 call records in my phone..the first thing I thought was to delete it all but then I was curious of whose voice it was..Hearing the first word “hello”..I already guessed who it was..haha..it really did made me smile..something in that voice made me missed the guy..Laughing my heart out hearing him say hello for about 4times...
obsession
My hands aren’t clean and they’ll never be Not for all the times I’ve sullied them My mind won’t quiet this insanity Not for all the times I’ve tried Every seam has a purpose But mine have begun to fray I know I can’t take much more of this Corruption’s my decay My words aren’t true and I’ll never speak For a true phrase is a dangerous...
Dope
you think i’m crazy..
yah think i’m not..
been soaked unto you..
been drowned with your scent..
arg!!..avoiding you,it’s like killing my self..
i wanna run away..
i’m so tightly tied up to you..
let go of me..
set me free!!..
you’re freshly human..
Addiction
Been addicted to this blog-gy thing..I signed-up for almost 8 different blog accounts..haaha..and guess what..just can’t remember some of it..:)
Psychological Test
Result:
My Stress Sources:
“An emotional relationship is falling apart and disappointing and has become a depressing situation. Would like to free herself from the relationship, but is afraid of losing what could have been or future disappointment down the line. her emotions constantly contradict each other irritating him; she tries to hid her irritation with a distant and harsh...
Another Set of Satisfaction
..I missed Him..and i’m going to missed Him again..been thinking of him this past few days..Cant get enough of his or our memories..He was my past..and he was “already” my past..we separate ways for almost 24 months..ahhaha..I said I moved on..looked at where I am now??..a bit of information about Him made my world go crazy..I’m just sooooooo stupid..Still expecting...
Depression Test
..I’m bored and I’m taking another test again..let’s see if i’m depressed..:)
It says..
“Your score is = 17
Scores of 15-20 Headed Towards Depression”
..ahahah..a lot of things goin’ crazy today..tsk tsk
Emotional Test..
..I was taking this online emotional test..:(.they’ve got 10 questions and i wonder what the result would be..It might show me I’m crazy..ahhaaahah..I’m not yet finished answering all the questions..wait——————————oppsss..i’m waiting for my result..——————-tadah!!….
It...
Insane
arg!!.. this twilight saga invasion just caught me in the midst of my nothingness.. sucking every part of my thoughts.. like i have no choice to stop it.. like i am doomed to follow it.. I just finished reading the “breaking dawn”.. and all I could say.. I want M-O-R-E!!..
follow me →
7 Things I hate about Him
1.) He always point out my flawses..duh!!..as if he’s perfect!!..
2.)He “make-faces” when I’m mad..gosh!!..so rude!!
3.)”Thumb-sucker”..shox..parang bata..
4.)Flooding of text messages..whenever I couldn’t reply his text..
5.)He always pushes me to do something I hate..like making friends of his friends..duh!
6.)He hates our dog.
7.)He hate books.
Captivity
..starnge atmosphere of haven,
I’m trapped..
help me from dying..
stop me from drowning..
I’m broke but I’m happy..
soaked of being ennui..
Alternative
..half past dead,
I crawled into my bed.
The past had cut its thread,
Now I’m trapped instead.
Mourning everyday,
for the loss of my heart.
I tried to make him stay,
but it causes torment, ripping me apart.
Making my self busy,
pretending it’s easy.
Thoughts full of pain,
hell!, I’m in vain..
moving on
..Everything became so lonely..
Each moment’s a moan of agony..
Deep breath I let out..
My heart’s in pain, it screams so loud..
Drops of blood from my hand,
This painful situation I couldn’t stand.
How could this things mutilate my soul..
Heart breaking memories from a great fall.
They knows how painful it was,
This emotion stucked me in a rush.
My heart shrank...
Even I
”..Well here we are Glance away I wanted you You couldn’t stay Reaching out Reaching in And will I be here till the day? You found another To pack away from I won’t make the same mistake again, no..”
-vedera
meant to say goodbye..
Myn: we were always meant to say goodbye.. we were never meant for do or die.. perfect couldn’t keep this love alive.. and i hate it when you’re lying.. i hate watching myself crumpled into pieces.. you know that i love you so.. i love you enough to let you go.. and i want you to know.. that this doesn’t matter.. where we take this road.. someone’s gotta go.. you...
..been listening to this song lately..I just love...
another blog.. →
“..I think I’ve discovered the secret of life..
——you just...”
– -sakimAko
..Sa Kanya pa rin..
“rring - rring - rring -rring —————-“
“rring - rring - rring -rring —————-“
“rring - rring - rring -rring —————-“
“rring - rring - rring -rring —————-“
Ilang ulit ko ba xang tinankang tawagan????..All I could hear was that damn...